


don't have phone sex

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crack Fic, F/F, Gay, Humor, M/M, Memes, Modern AU, Multi, Polyamory, Seven Deadly Sins, chatfic, fairy tail - Freeform, idk how japanese schooling works, mentioning other fandoms with slight spoilers, pretend they are on break pls, rated for language and sex jokes, this is a mess, yamaguchi is an otaku
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 13:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11403597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: yacchansdon't have phone sexyacchansyou could get aidsyacchanshearing aids[or the first years aged up to third years groupchat fic no one asked for. skype + imessage + other chatfics form]





	1. bully box, reported to

**Author's Note:**

> \+ most links should work ((((;;;;
> 
> \+ if yall wanna replace any of my crappy drawings with another drawing or photoshopped thing dm me on [twitter](twitter.com/seijohh)
> 
> \+ oops was making this instead of writing suffocating whatevs huhuhu

 

07.9.2017  
12:36 PM

 

 **yams2gucci** added **tsukishimak** , **hinacaw** , **tobiyo** , **yacchans**

 **yams2gucci** named the group 3rd Years

  
**tsukishimak** yamaguchi?

 **yams2gucci** yo yo yo

 **hinacaw** oOOOOO a groupchat !

 **yams2gucci** the upperclassmen used to have one so i made one for us (((:

 **hinacaw** cooooooool yamaguchiiiii so coooool

 **tobiyo**  where the fuck

 **hinacaw** lANGAUGAGE yOUR LANGUAAE APPALS MEE

 **tsukishimak** your spelling appalls me

 **hinacaw** ): <

 **hinacaw** meanie. meanieshima

 **tobiyo**  alright. how the fuck. where the fuck. hinata where are you??????? like i let you into my home with promises of volleyball and youre gone???

 **tobiyo**  he e heej he was hiding in my closet like a fucking gremlin he was fucking snorting and giggling in htere

 **hinacaw** HE HAS BOXERS WITH CROWNS ON IT REPEAT HE HAS BOXIAUSJNKDFKLMXC

 **hinacaw** is offline

 **yams2gucci** is he dead?

 **tsukishimak** yamaguchi, i bet that one aoba kid got it for him. the one with his hair parted in the middle.

 **yams2gucci** no way! it had to be oikawa! he's so petty.

 **yams2gucci** is offline  
**tsukishimak** is offline  
**tobiyo** is offline  
**yacchans** is offline

3:36 PM

 **yams2gucci** is online  
**tsukishimak** is online  
**tobiyo**  is online  
**yacchans** is offline  
**hinacaw** is offline

 **tobiyo**  so hinata may or may not be in the hospital

 **yams2gucci** WHAT

 **tobiyo**  it wasn't my fault!! so he runs out of my closet and slips his shoes on and runs out of my house cuz im chasing after him

 **tobiyo** and this idiot doesnt see the kid on their tricycle.

 **tobiyo**  so he just gets plOWED by this bright purple tricycle and his foot got ran over twice and then it got all purple so i had to carry his sorry ass to the hospital

 **tsukishimak** he got ran over? by a tricycle?

 **tobiyo**  yes

 **tsukishimak** ...did you get pictures?

 **yams2gucci** tSUKKI!!!

 **tobiyo**...yes

 **yams2gucci** (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾ you guys are bad people

 **tsukishimak** i know.

 **tobiyo**  [riphinata.jpeg](http://s1044.photobucket.com/user/seijohh/media/IMG_1867_zpskdlsxstj.jpg.html)

 **yams2gucci** how did you even get that angle?? i thought you were chasing him

 **tobiyo** right, before i carried his sorry ass i walked around him to take the picture

 **yams2gucci** so mean (´；Д；`)

 **tsukishimak** that kid is my hero.

 **yams2gucci** yea? will he be your hero in 2 days when hinata can't play and we lose the practice match?

 **yama2gucci** i diDN'T THINK SO

 **tobiyo** oh fuckkk i forgot about that practice match i was so busy laughing at hinata

 **hinacaw** is online

 **hinacaw** hello you pooheads

 **hinacaw** minus yamaguchi and yachi

 **hinacaw** they're angels

 **yams2gucc** i <3

 **tsukishimak** aw, you're still alive.

 **yacchans** is online

 **yacchans** hi guys

 **hinacaw** YACCCCCCHHHHIIII !!!!

 **yacchans** are u okay? saw u got hit with a tricycle 

 **yacchans** i prolly would have died

 **tsukishimak** probably not. hinata is just weak.

 **hinacaw** whEn I aM ReleaSed I'lL ruN yOU over wiTh a HOT pinK barBie TricYCle seE hOw You FeEl

 **hinacaw** i wiLL CRUSH YOU

 **tobiyo** you don't have money to buy a tricycle 

 **tobiyo** those things are fucking expensive 

 **hinacaw** yoU DIDNT HAVE TO SWEAR THERE

 **hinacaw** you cOuld HavE just pUt reaLLY expENSiVE

 **yams2gucci** are you okay?

 **hinacaw** i'm fine, my ankles a bit swollen tho. this ice is cold.

 **tsukishimak** no shit

 **hinacaw** ):

 **yams2gucci** i meant mentally

 **yacchans** omg bahahha

 **hinacaw** i'm being buLLIED

 **hinacaw** i'll report yall to the bully box i

 **tobiyo** yall

 **yacchans** yall

 **tsukishimak** yall

 **yams2guchi** yall 

 **hinacaw** friendship, canceled

 **hinacaw** bully box, reported to

 **tsukishimak** oh no! what will we do?

 **hinacaw** ): <

 **yacchans** yall

 **yacchans** sorry

 **yacchans** guys this is some important information okay

 **yams2gucci** everybody knows you're gay, yachi. we accept and love you.

 **tsukishimak** but not like...love love you.

 **tobiyo** cuz that would be straight

 **hinacaw** yOU AND KIYOKO MADE OUT WHEN SHE VISITED W DAICHI RIGHT I SAW YALL BEHIND THE SPORTS SHED

 **yacchans** i- what the fuck

 **hinacaw** lAnGuAge

 **yacchans** what the frick frack

 **yacchans** that didn't happen

 **tsukishimak** bullshit, i have a video.

 **yams2gucci** wait what the frickkk you have a vid??? wth send that to me

 **hinacaw** i'm gonna start a swear jar i can't believe all of yall have dirty mouths i will wash them w soap

 **tsukishimak** only if you can reach, shorty.

 **yacchans** GUYS

 **kageyamas** sorry

 **yacchans** don't have phone sex

 **yacchans** you might get aids

 **yacchans** hearing aids

 **tsukishimak** what you on?

 **tsukishimak** hmu.

 **yams2gucci** O: 

 **yams2gucci** that is bad

 **yams2gucci** you are too young for those types of things

 **tsukishimak** sorry, yamaguchi.

 **hinacaw** whaT

 **yacchans** what the frickkkk

 **tobiyo** yamaguchi runs their shit show

 **hinacaw** bad tobio

 **tsukishimak** kinky.

 **tobiyo** nO

 **yams2gucci** if we're pointing fingers

 **yams2gucci** tsukishima has a kink for freckles

 **tsukishimak** allegedly.

 **tsukishimak** kageyama has a king kink, just saying.

 **tobiyo** i do n oT

 **yacchans** hinata has a height kink

 **hinacaw** WHAT HAVE I DONE TO HURT YOU

 **hinacaw** fine then

 **hinacaw** a little kitty once told me that two certain middle blockers had a little fun playing volleyball outside during a training camp

 **hinacaw** i wonder who

 **yams2gucci** yachi sucked a dick before

 **tobiyo** WHAT

 **hinacaw** WHAT

 **tsukishimak** what?

 **yacchans** WHAT ?! NOT MY GAY ASS 

 **yacchans** IM THE GAYEST ONE HERE YO CANT EVEN FIGHT ME ON THAT

 **yams2gucci** sorry autocorrect 

 **yams2gucci** meant to put hinata accidentally called iwaizumi bara-chan then oikawa asked if he wanted to have a threesome

 **tobiyo** who did what now

 **tsukishimak** calm down, king.

 **tsukishimak** oh sorry, are you turned on now?

 **tobiyo** is offline

 **hinacaw** OIKAWA DIDNT

 **hinacaw** I MEAN I ACCIDENTALLY CALLED IWAIZUMI BARA-CHAN BUT I WAS NEVER ASKED TO PARTAKE IN ANY THREESOMES

 **hinacaw** whAT HAVE I DONT SO HURT YOU PEOPLE

 **tobiyo** is online

 **tobiyo** one time at training camp i saw yamaguchi dancing with his pillow in the empty 2nd years room while singing kpop

 **yams2gucci** allegedly 

 **hinacaw** kageyama called iwaizumi mom once

 **yacchans** tsukishima once threw a wad of paper then when the teacher asked who did it he blamed the quietest girl 

 **yacchans** she burst out crying and ran out

 **yacchans** but the teacher believed him because he was one of the top students

 **yams2gucci** i remember that

 **hinacaw** you're so mean meanieshima

 **tsukishimak** yachi once walked around all day with a sticky note i put on her back that said pat 'me on the head and say i'm a good girl'.

 **yacchans** what the f

 **yacchans** that was you?!

 **yacchans**  i got so many looks, so many

 **yacchans** no one even told me who what when where how why

 **yams2gucci** yall are fun to rile up

 **hinacaw** yall

 **tsukishimak** not funny anymore.

 **hinacaw** frick yall

 **tsukishimak** yall

 **yams2gucci** yall

 **tobiyo** yall

 **yacchans** yall

 **hinacaw** is offline

 **yacchans** i can't breathe

 **yacchans** is offline

 **tsukishimak** later.

 **tsukishimak** is offline

 **tobiyo** is offline

 **yams2gucci** is offline 

9:19 PM

 **hinacaw** is online

 **hinacaw** so i was in a call with kenma right

 **hinacaw** and kuroo walked in

 **hinacaw** and he saw me

 **hinacaw** thEN

 **yacchans** is online

 **hinacaw** he told me that tsukishima called me and kageyama cute when they were texting

 **yacchans** you four are so gay for each other 

 **yacchans** yams was texting me earlier abt how he was buying milk and he swore he saw kageyama each time a person with black hair OR blue eyes entered the aisle

 **yacchans** he even sent a pic of a guy with a blonde mullet but blue eyes and asked if that was kageyama 

 **hinacaw** gosh yamaguchi is such a cutie what the heckers

 **yacchans** heckers???

 **yacchans** what are you

 **yacchans** 40??

 **hinacaw** as the eldest i must be a good role model

 **yacchans** good

 **yacchans**  yea, right

 **hinacaw** you are much meaner over text

 **yacchans** everybody's the same height here

 **yacchans** bec we are texting i can't see kageyama's scary face or tsukishima's gangly legs

 **hinacaw** gangly

 **hinacaw** im choking

 **yacchans** you should get that checked out

 **hinacaw** stupid bakageyama

 **hinacaw** i need to wear a brace for 6 weeks 

 **hinacaw** the doctor said i can play volleyball still but i need to rest for at least 7 weeks

 **hinacaw** and i need to use crutches and a brace

 **hinacaw** when i get out of this brace

 **hinacaw** i will stEP ON THAT KID

 **yams2gucci** is online

 **yams2gucci** dude you're probably the same hieght as that kid

 **hinacaw** wanna fiGHT

 **yachhans** babes you're both pretty

 **yacchans** but i'm the prettiest

 **yacchans** gotta blast lovelies

 **yacchans** is offline

 **yams2gucci** get well soon hinata

 **yams2gucci** or one of the first years will take your starter position

 **yams2gucci** is offline

 **hinacaw** c  A W 

 **hinacaw** is offline

 

 


	2. shut your gay mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yacchans  
> named the conversation i have a gay problem™
> 
> hinacaw  
> relatable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some? spoilers for fairy tail and nanatsu no tazai 
> 
> \+ the dates and real life aren't lining up so i'll be referencing manga and anime updates pretty late huhuhu

7.10.17

7:39 AM

 

 **yacchans** is online

 **yacchans** named the conversation i have a problem™

 

 **hinacaw** you have a problem?!

 **hinacaw** i have a problem!!!

 **hinacaw** iM CRIPPLED FOR A WHOLE TWO MONTHS

 **yacchans** named the conversation i have a gay problem™

 **hinacaw** relatable

 **yams2gucci** is online

 **yacchans** i just got out of a call with kiyoko and she asked me out for lunch

 **yacchans** to cATCH UP !!!

 **yams2gucci** yo,, congrats yachi

 **yacchans** i DONT WANT YOUR CONGRATS

 **yams2gucci** i take it back, damn

 **hinacaw** lANguAge

 **yacchans** I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING

 **yachhans** I WANT TO BE GAY IN HER SOFT MILKY PALE ARMS

 **tsukishimak** is online

 **tsukishimak** gayyyy.

 **yams2gucci** you're one to talk

 **yams2gucci** type?

 **yacchans** put your gay away 

 **yacchans** i'm the one with the gay crisis here

 **hinacaw** where's kageyamaaaaaaaa

 **hinacaw** it's almomst the whole squaddd

 **yacchans** IDC ABT KAGEYAMA RN 

 **tobiyo** is online

 **tobiyo** thanks

 **hinacaw** KAgS <3333

 **tobiyo** dumbass

 **yacchans** FUC OKAY THAT"S CUTE AND ALL

 **yacchans** BUT KIYOKO WANTS TO MEET AT 12:30 BUT SHE NEVER SAID IT WAS A DATE AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH EFFORT I'M PUTTING IN VS HOW MUCH SHES PUTTING IN AND I REALLY THOUGHT WE WOULD BE AT THE DATING OR AT LEAST GOING ON DATES STAGE BUT CATCH UP????? REALLY?????

 **tsukishimak** i think you two are well past any stage, shamelessly making out behind the shed.

 **yams2gucci** allegedly, you still havent sent the vid to me smh

 **tsukishimak** ask king, he's seen it.

 **yams2gucci** yOU SHOWEED HIM BUT NOT MEEEEE???

 **yams2gucci** haha weed

 **yacchans** ANOTHER REMINDER;;;;;;; IM HAVING A GAY™ CRISIS!!!!!

 **hinacaw** why don't /you/ just ask her on a date

 **tobiyo** O:

 **yams2gucci** O:

 **tsukishimak** you have a brain???

 **yacchans** B-BUT THAT'S SO EMBARRASING

 **hinacaw** yeah?

 **hinacaw** my bad

 **hinacaw** but i think kiyoko rocking your world behind the shed is pretty embarassing

 **tobiyo** /ROCKING YOUR WORLD/

 **yams2gucci** im w e a k

 **tsukishimak** pft.

 **yacchans** she-i-we- who?

 **yacchans** im just sad gay and lonely

 **hinacaw** relatable

 **yacchans** bullshit

 **hinacaw** AISKJDnaoishdLKND

 **yacchans** because yall could be gay together here

 **yacchans** and i have 'catch ups' and akward but endearing pms but she's so busy with uni and finding a job and everything

 **yams2gucci** i- actually that's really sad

 **yacchans** she doesn't even confirm if we are going on dates or how she feels

 **yacchans** like i know we made out and everything but that's really it

 **yacchans** she never told me she liked me or anything even tho i confessed already

 **hinacaw** you confessed?!!

 **tobiyo** hina we should texts kiyoko

 **yacchans** nOOOO then she's gonna know i'm telling yall things

 **yams2gucci** make your mind up girl

 **tsukishimak** sunshine ball, since when did you and king have shortened versions of your names as nicknames?

 **hinacaw** since when did you buy fries but not eat them just so you can give them to yamaguchi after they get soggy

 **yacchans**  that... that's almost as gay as me

 **yams2gucci** kageyama is blushing

 **tobiyo** i'm not

 **tobiyo** i don't blush

 **yacchans** bull

 **yams2gucci** [ablushingking.jpg](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B2XJkpSupYvRN1V6TV9JWmphcDA/view?usp=sharing)

 **tsukishimak** i, that's...

 **tobiyo** YAMAGUCHIASDNK

 **hinacaw** i-------

 **hinacaw** i'm coming over wya

 **tsukishimak** me too.

 **yacchans** awww i wanna come but i'm stressing about what to wear

 **yams2gucci** why don't we go over to yachi's then n help her out

 **yacchans** :D

 **hinacaw** gotcha

 **hinacaw** is offline

 **yacchans** is offline

 **tobiyo** is offline

 **tsukishimak** is offline

 **yams2gucci** is offline

 

12:39 PM

 

 **yachhans** is online

 **tobiyo** is online

 **yacchans** so my gay ass has escaped to the bathroom because im about to die

 **tobiyo**  i'd rather die on a volleyball court but you do you

 **yacchans**  shut your gay mouth

 **yacchans**  she told me i was really cute and pretty and smart and whatnot and that she's sorry that it took her so long

 **yacchans** but she totally confessed her undying love for me and i squealed and ran to the bathroom and im walking back out so i can properly accept

 **yacchans** is offline

 **tobiyo** lo n e l y

 **tobiyo** i'm a setter and i'm lone l y

 **tsukishimak** is online

 **tobiyo** oh

 **tobiyo** is offline

 **tsukishimak** well fuck you too. i didn't want to be here anyways.

 **tsukishimak** is offline

 **tobiyo** is online

 **tobiyo** i was joking you fucking beanpole

 **tobiyo** is offline

 **hinacaw** is online

 **hinacaw** what're yall doing in here

 **tsukishimak** yamaguchi is sobbing in the corner. what do I do?

 **hinacaw** the frick you mean what do you do

 **tsukishimak** well i don't know! he's laughing and tears are streaming down his face i don't know what's happening. i think he's possessed. send help.

 **tsukishimak** he's sobbing again.

 **tsukishimak** he's wiping away the tears. he has so much snot, disgusting.

 **tsukishimak** he's tapping around... he gasped.

 **tsukishimak** he's screaming, what the fuck. he's screaming about an update.

 **tsukishimak** HE'S GRABBING ME AND SHAKING ME I

 **tsukishimak** HE'S YELLING AT ME, HE'S STARTING TO CRY AGAIN IM CONCERNED FOR HIS HEALTH AND SAFTEY

 **tsukishimak** HE'S YELLING ABOUT SOME GIRL NAMED LUCY??? HE'S YELLING ABOUT NATSU??? LIKE HINATA IS YOUR SISTER DOING SMTH OR???

 **tsukishimak** HE'S SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT BEING PROUD OF LUCY??

 **tsukishimak** who the fuCK is lucy.

 **tsukishimak** HE'S LAYING ON ME A GETTING SNOT ALL OVER ME. HE'S SCREAMING ABOUT HOW HE LOVES JOOVIA? WHY ARE THEY ALL WOMEN??? I'M FEELING LOST.

 **tsukishimak** NOW HE'S SHOUTING ABOUT HARD-G-ON? THERE SHALL BE NO SINNING WITH LADIES IN MY HOUSE.  HE'S SOBBING ABOUT HOW EVERYTHING HAS COME FULL CIRCLE?? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'M ACTUALLY ABOUT TO RUSH HIM TO URGENT CARE OR SOMTHING WHAT'S GOING ON????

 **tsukishimak** IT'S BEEN ABOUT 8 MINUTES SINCE HE PUT DOWN HIS PHONE AND HE'S NOW SNIFFLING AND CUDDLING ME

 **tsukishimak** i'm not complaining but who are those people. who are these wOMEN?

 **hinacaw** i've been laughing so hard i really can't breath like i'm shaking i'm about to throw up hepl

 **tsi ukishimak** well do you know what he was having a breakdown over?

 **hinacaw** of course i do i'm not an uncultured swine

 **tsukishimak** excuse me?? i will?? crush you??

 

 **hinacaw** btw yamaguchi was talking about fairy tail the manga

 **hinacaw** i can't believe you aren't reading it

 **tsukishimak** wait, so if you know what it was...

 **tsukshimak**!!

 **tsukishimak**  you can read????????

 **hinacaw** ):< you get no morning messages from me for two days

 **tsukishimak** fine, i didn't want to recieve pictures of you with a good morning anyways.

 **hinacaw** bullshrimp you always reply back

 **tsukishimak** i don't.

 **hinacaw** i literally have the convo right here?

 **tsukishimak** you don't.

 **hinacaw** i do! ]:<

 **tsukishimak** who?

 **hinacaw** me!!

 **tsukishimak** who's me?

 **hinacaw** i'm me!

 **tsukishimak** i'm not getting any names.

 **hinacaw** hinata!!

 **tsukishimak** natsu?

 **hinacaw** you dumb lamp post ):

 **tsukishimak** how rude of you.

 **tsukishimak** OH MY FUCKING WORD

 **tsukishimak** HE JUMPED UP AND HIT HIS HEAD ON MY CHIN AND NOW HE'S SCREAMING ABOUT HOW HE MISSED THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS UPDATE

 **tsukishimak** THERE IS NOT TO BE ANY SINNING RIGHT NOW

 **tsukishimak** WHY DOES HE KEEP SOBBING ABOUT GIRLS WHO THE FUCK ARE ELIZABETH AND ELAINE

 **tsukishimak** WHO ARE THESE FOREIGNERS IM CONCERNED HE'S SOBBING ABOUT ELIZABETH DYING AND BAHN?? AND MELLYODAS??????  LIKE I THINK HE'S GENUINELY GOING TO GET DEHYDRATED HE'S ACTUALLY SOBBING IM NOT EVEN JOKING

 **tsukishimak** I STOOD UP TO GO GET HIM WATER AND HE JUMPED AND GRABBED MY FEET TO TRIP ME AND NOW WE ARE CUDDLING ON THE FLOOR AND HES SOBBING INTO MY CHEST'

 **tsukishimak** THIS IS SO GAY

 **hinacaw** oh my frick fracken word i love sds

 **hinacaw** tell him to hmu we can watch sds together

 **tsukishimak** i don't know what to do. maybe i'll confiscate this phone. he's saying that he wants to protect his children, as far as i know we haven't adopted. UNLESS Y'ALL ADOPTED WITHOUT ME KNOWING I.

 **hinacaw** this is too much for me 

 **hinacaw** is offline

 **tsukishimak** don't leave me here.

 **tsukishimak** we are back to cuddling.

 **tsukishimak** this is so gay.

 **tsukishimak** i'm not gay.

 **yacchans** is online

 **yacchans** bullshit

 **yacchans** is offline

 

 **tsukishimak** i'm just getting abused

 **tsukishimak** is offline

 

4:10 PM

 

 **yams2gucci** is online

 **yam2gucci** changed their name to  **myassbelongstogray**

 

 **myassbelongstogray** godddddddddddd he was so hot in that chapter

 **myassbelongtogray** we did not do any gay cuddling btw

 **myassbelongstogray** what the fuck is a tsukki

 **myassbelongstogray** i only go gay for gray

 **myassbelongstogray** and sting and rogue and laxus and freed (god i love freed what a smol cute boy i love that man) and natsu and meliodas and BAN GOD I AM SO GAY FOR BAN and k IN G I LOVE KING HE's SUCH A GOOD BOY A SWEET BOY and helbram is a viBE like HUUUUUU 

 **myassbelongstogray** oh my god

 **myassbelongstogray** I'M GAY!

 **myassbelongstogray** （・□・；）

 **myassbelongstogray** is offline

 

 


	3. the fuck kind of sexting is this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yacchans  
> IM LOSING MY MARBLES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ IM SO SORRY IT IS SHITTY AND SHORT AND LATE IVE BEEN BUSY UP WITH HIGH SCHOOL

7.14.17

4:28 AM

 

 **hinacaw** is online

 **tobiyo** is online

 **hinacaw** the day has dawned

 **hinacaw** the birds are chirping

 **hinacaw** the sun is rising

 **hinacaw** the air is chilled

 **hinacaw** my body is cold

 **hinacaw** i'm shirtless

 **hinacaw** my hair's a mess

 **hinacaw** my sheet's are rumpled

 **hinacaw** face is dirty

 **tobiyo** the fuck kind of sexting is this

 **tobiyo** what the hell

 **tobiyo** no

 **tobiyo** do you usually wake up at 4:30 to sext

 **tobiyo** nvm don't answer that

 **hinacaw**...sexting????

4:31 AM

 **hinacaw** OH GOD

 **hinacaw** I DIDN'T MEAN TO

 **hinacaw** i was just...y'know..

 **tobiyo** i don't????

 **hinacaw** idk stating facts like... i don't sleep with a shirt on sometimes esp now bec it's summer but my window was open and it's only 4:30 in the morning it's very cold my hair is a mess and im oily

 **tobiyo** i...i don't want to know if you're oily or not

 **hinacaw** DO YOU NOT WASH YOUR FACE IN THE MORNING?!

 **tobiyo** well i'm not all oiled up after sleeping

 **hinacaw**...

 **hinacaw** you

 **hinacaw** you..

 **hinacaw** pervertyama-kun

 **tobiyo** i'm not the one sexting the groupchat

 **tobiyo** pervert boke

 **hinacaw** was that the best you could do

 **tobiyo**...

 **tobiyo** yes.

 **hinacaw** bahahhaahha

 **tobiyo** shut up

 **tobiyo** you are the pervert here

 **tobiyo** sexting at 4 in the morning

 **hinacaw** sexting what

 **hinacaw** don't know them

4:36 AM

 **tobiyo** right this is awkward

 **tobiyo** want to go for a run?

 **hinacaw**...pervertyama-kun i have a brace on

 **tobiyo** sucks for you

 **hinacaw** ):<

 **hinacaw** is offline

 **tobiyo** is online

 

8:43 AM

 

 **myassbelongstogray** is online

 **myassbelongstogray** changed their name to  **yama**

 

 **yama** you two are kinky

 **yama** wild even

 **yacchans** is online

 **tsukishimak** is online

 

 **yama** hey hey hey

 **tsukishimak** no

 **yacchans** i think i may be going crazy

 **yacchans** i saw hinata and kageyama walk past my building so many times

 **tsukishimak** incredible.

 **tsukishimak** did you forget he has a brace on??

 **yacchans** IM LOSING MY MARBLES

 **yacchans** I AM LOSING MY MARBLES THERE ARE TWO HINATAS

 **yama** yes, it's called siblings

 **yacchans** hinata should be resting

 **yacchans** what is kageyama doing, dragging hinata outside

 **yacchans** A WILD TSUKISHIMA HAS ENTERED THE AREA

 **yachhans** i feel like a stalker, i'm just watching them converse in front of my building

 

8:57 AM

 

 **yacchans** what are yall doing out there

 **yacchans** you too yamaguchi

 **yacchans** god, if you wanted to visit yall should have told me first ):

 **yacchans** it'S A MESS IN HERE OMJFKNAASD

 **yama** is offline

 **tsukishimak** is offline

 **yacchans** is offline

 

3:21 PM

 

 **hinacaw** is online

 

 **hinacaw** i'd like to apologize for how natsu acted

 **hinacaw** i diD NOT RAISE her to be that disrespectful

 **hinacaw** tsukishima i swear she didnt mean to spit in your mouth

 **hinacaw** it was just, you were sitting in front of her and your mouth was open when yamaguchi said that really bad joke

 **hinacaw** i also apologize for laughing very hard 

 **hinacaw** pls forgive

 **tsukishimak** is online 

 **tsukishimak** if natsu wasn't so damn cute i would have stepped on her.

 **hinacaw** ):

 **hinacaw** that's so mean 

 **tsukishimak** at least i didn't really step on her

 **hinacaw** but if you could you would

 **tsukishimak** i swear my braincells decrease everytime i talk or text you.

 **hinacaw** omg,, you should get that checked out!!!!!!!

 **tsukishimak** you are an idiot.

 **yama** is online

 **yama** that's mean tsukishima

 **yama** you can't bully your boyfriend

 **yama** i mean best friend

 **yama** i mean friend

 **yama** i mean rival

 **yama** i mean teammate

 **tsukishimak** i will step on you too.

 **yama** o:

 **yama** try me bitch i fuxing dare you i will karate chop your ass

 **hinacaw** so vulgAR

 **hinacaw** nOT IN MY HOUSE

 **hinacaw** is offline

 **hinacaw** is online

 **hinacaw** i pressed the wrong button

 **tsukishimak** maybe you lose braincells whenever you talk to kageyama.

 **hinacaw** O:

 **yama** stop bullying the crippled

 **hinacaw** iM NOT CRIPPLED

 **hinacaw** IM JUST INCAPABLE OF VIGOROUS ACTIVITIES

 **yama** he is handicapped

 **yama** you cant bully a handicapped person what kind of monster

 **hinacaw** a tall one

 **yama** ™™™™™™™™

 **tsukishimak** okay i'm bored now bye.

 **yama** excus e

 **tsukishimak** is offline

 **yama** damn, okay

 **yama** is offline

 **hinacaw** ):

 **hinacaw** is offline

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. i will really order goat piss right now don't fuck with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hinacaw  
> like shmack but like shemack
> 
> tobiyo  
> you need to seek professional help
> 
> hinacaw  
> you are the only one not allowed to say that to me
> 
> tsukishimak  
> you need to seek professional help.
> 
> yacchans  
> you need to seek professional help
> 
> yama  
> you need to seek professional help

7.19.17

12:20 AM

 

 **hinacaw** is online

 **yacchans** is online

 **yama** is online

 **tsukishimak** is online

 **tobiyo** is online

 

 **hinacaw** does anyone ever read tsukishima's user as 

 **hinacaw** tsukishimack

 **hinacaw** like shmack but like shemack

 **tobiyo**  you need to seek professional help

 **hinacaw**  you are the only one not allowed to say that to me

 **tsukishimak**  you need to seek professional help.

 **yacchans**  you need to seek professional help

 **yama** you need to seek professional help

 **hinacaw** how

 **hinacaw** how could you bully a cripple

 **yama** you said you weren't crippled last chapter

 **yama** i mean the other day

 **hinacaw** i said nothing of the sort

 **tobiyo** ive been thinking

 **hinacaw** oh no

 **yacchans** oh no

 **yama** oh no

 **tsukishimak** oh no.

 **tobiyo** 1\. fuck yall 2. how did tsukishima get so tall, im genuinely concerned. tsukishima's mom is so short

 **yama** i know how

 **yama** he drank goat piss as a young child

 **yacchans** hE WHAT

 **hinacaw** THAT IS DISGUSTING

 **hinacaw** but like.. for real?? does this uh work??

 **tobiyo** that's gross hinata

 **tsukishimak** not only was it goat piss.

 **tsukishimak** it was imported from foreign lands.

 **hinacaw** what

 **hinacaw** for real

 **hinacaw** are you lying

 **hinacaw** i will really order goat piss right now don't fuck with me

 **yacchans** ah, hinata

 **yacchans** you know what? nevermind

 **tobiyo** imported?

 **tobiyo** i'm no king i get my milk from the vending machines

 **tobiyo** @mr i import my fucking goat piss

 **hinacaw** all this naught language

 **hinacaw** naughty*

 **hinacaw** im not angry, just

 **hinacaw** Dissapointed™

 **yama** did you find where you can ship goat piss over here

 **hinacaw** yeah actually

 **hinacaw** it's super expensive tho

 **hinacaw** how rich are your parents tsukki

 **tsukishimak** don't call me that.

 **hinacaw** sorry

 **hinacaw** but for real

 **hinacaw** this is expensive

 **hinacaw** i don't think i'll actually be able to afford any of this

 **yacchans** hinata

 **yacchans** i think you are a sweet, swet boy

 **yacchans** sweet* 

 **yachhans** but you're an idiot

 **yama** ^

 **tobiyo** ^^

 **tsukishimak** i've been saying this since the beginning.

 **tobiyo** no i have

 **yama** so like

 **yama** i may or may not have been asked out earlier?

 **yacchans** congrats tsukishima and yamaguchi and kageyama and hinata

 **yacchans** leaving me to be the fifth wheel is such a dick move tho

 **yama** well you see

 **yama** they havent asked me out

 **yama** it was terushima

 **yama** the one that graduated from johzenji 

 **hinacaw** who the fuck do he think he is

 **tsukishimak** what did you say?

 **tobiyo** hinaTA LANGUAGE

 **hinacaw** apologies

 **hinacaw** but you said no right??

 **hinacaw** because i was planning to ask you all out with help from yachi 

 **hinacaw** i mean no i wasnt

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this is laate and short high school is evil ):

**Author's Note:**

> \+ bolding up all their names is so annoying but brackets would be more annoying yikes
> 
> \+ kudos and comments appreciated <3
> 
> \+ sorry for any typos yo (: they're texting anyways ahaha


End file.
